Grief never really goes away, you think it has – you hope it has, till unexpectedly she creeps out from where it has been hiding, Maybe behind your facade of a smiley face, or an overly busy schedule. But she’s always there.
Maybe Grief too has feelings, sometimes she just has to get away from you – and nurse herself back to healing, and then she will be able to help you., so let grief hide for a while, and do not feel guilty, Enjoy a normal life .She will return . , then she will work a bit more of her magic , till eventually you can look her in the eye and smile.
Grief is doing her work, let her go her own way, but she will always be there, watching, waiting to catch you unawares, though the timespan will get longer, She never really goes away.
Having two rather elderly dogs, Ruby and Zac, my dog walks are now rather limited, in time and distance., I can’t say I’m 100% sorry as at my age, though fairly fit, I’m happy for now to be home indoors especially in wet and cold weather.
But I’ve come to be aware that there are many places I can’t visit any more as I would worry about access to safety and getting them back to my car should either take ill ., it was brought home to me as a couple of weeks ago Zac just laid down half way through a walk, and I had a job getting him on his feet and back to the car. I reckon he was just tired.
Both are almost fifteen and slowing up. Zac has arthritis plus his back legs are weakening, and Ruby is simply lagging behind and shows reluctance to jump out of the car.
As I named this post ‘ Don’t go back’, let me explain… Over fifty years of owning dogs and obviously having walked many miles and visited many places, some of which are very dear to me and all holding precious memories, I have dozens of photographs and videos of the dogs from way back enjoying themselves, I can recall many of them as though it was yesterday. Come Kerry, Numa, Tarc, Whisper, Jet, Tango, Chippie, Ruby and Zac.
But…. I can never go back to these places, as I know that I’d call their names and expect them to come racing back along the path or from behind a tree to come to me, and I know that will never happen again. , a heart can only break so many times.
I will now just live for the two I have for however long it takes, and I think appreciate them all the more.
When you have your dogs right now , you simply live in the moment and don’t give much thought to the fact that one day they will no longer be a part of your life, I know I did.
Today has been about the nicest day this year, sunny, still a chill in the air, but bearable, I got washing on the line and even managed some gardening, a good start as it all comes in a rush when the weather changes for the better. , though we have been warned it will get very cold near the end of the week.
Winter would be OK if it wasn’t for the weather.
Sorry but we Brits seem t be obsessed by it, , probably because there’s so much of it. LOL
I have a few snowdrops blooming, not much but they try and give me a show every year. I have some Hellebore [Christmas Roses] I thought I’d lost them , but I see they have shot up through their protective covering, and have a couple of buds. pleased about that.
I saw two long tailed tits in my garden to-day, the first for a couple of years, lovely, such dainty little birds, they were feeding on the fat balls, so I must remember to keep them replenished.
It’s getting close to my grandson’s wedding, i must get out and look for an outfit.
Thank you for visiting and please come back, Arlene, Tango and Ruby.
Went to our dance club last night, and my friend pointed out I had some smears of yellow on my face, she thought I’d been painting, but I realized it was traces of the Turmeric I’d been cooking up for Zac to help his arthritis, my nails are stained sulphur yellow with it too.
I think I’ve rambled on long enough, gotta save something for next time, Have a good week folks.
Just wondering just who is out there, never mind i’ll still ramble on. The weather has turned a bit colder though dryer , don’t know which is worse, hat the cold but that damp drippy weather was beginning to do my head in, Constantly having towels down for the dogs wet feet and trying to dry their wet coats after a walk was beginning to feel like a penance, probably was as I was a bu**er when I was younger.
Poor old Zac is struggling a bit again, his breathing is a bit laboured and he’s toppling sideways a bit oftener. but he soldiers on. Ruby just goes on in her own quiet inoffensive way.
Was at my older daughter for lunch today, a lovely fish pie and then bread and butter pud, for tea, we had toasted tea cake and home made sponge, just the ticket.
Went to pictures yesterday afternoon to see La La Land , yes it was a bit lalaland, after a boring and pointless start it got going quite well and the ending was a surprise, really don’t see how it got so many awards, but each to his own.
I’ve just been watching Countryfile on TV, it was showing the murmurations of starlings, writing their symphony across the sky, absolutely pure magic, beats man made films any day.
I didn’t sleep too well last night and it’s catching up with me now, yawning my head off and it’s only 7.30pm. oh well, I’ll close now as Call the Midwife is on shortly, Have a good week. and thanks for reading. [I wish]
Here it is Sheila
January must be the most loathed month in my calendar, running closely with February, I just hate the cold, and boy has it been cold so far, we’ve had everything thrown at us apart from snow [thankfully] but it’s coming to an end and I just have get through February and think Spring is on it’s way, though it won’t be rushed.
I’m glad to say that my thrushes are still foraging in the garden, the blackies seem to have accepted them. BUT… I have noticed a dearth of other birds with the exception of my robins, who are a permanent feature, I saw one Chaffinch where I used to have several, very few tits, and no goldcrests, I think there will probably be a wren or two but as they stick very close to the shrubs they are almost invisible. I’m wondering because it is so cold and I am constantly feeding the birds they are taking possession and scaring the little ones away, . I must mention though I can’t get rid of the pigeons and a couple of ravens who scoff as much seed in one gulp that would keep the little ones going all day. I do shoosh them off.
Here is a card I’ve made to while away the time between painting crits. Love making these , they are called pop up cards I apologise if I have put up the calendar card in a previous blog but they too are fun to make. that’s it for now folks. look forward to the dozens of comments. LOLOLOLOLxx
I am so pleased I have got , not one , but two song thrushes in my garden, and they are enjoying the bird seed, I haven’ t had a thrush for two/three years. The trouble is that the resident blackbirds, about four of them, keep shooshing them away from the food, but then they quarrel among themselves, I had at least two blackies nest in the garden last spring and I’m hoping that the thrushes will find a spot to nest.
Just lately the blackies have been tolerating them a bit more, maybe it’s because I put out more food, so I’ll carry on doing it.
I’ve just finished reading a super book I got from the library last week, it’s called ”Judy” it is about a dog, and English pointer who was adopted by the crew of a cruiser which patrolled the Yangtze River just before the second world war, This dog went through the hell the sailors did, including being taken POW and working on the Death Railway with the hundreds of men, Her uncanny instinct of being able to sense danger and differentiate between friend and foe in the camp saved many lives, I couldn’t put the book down and cried and laughed with it. well worth the read.
The weather here has been pretty miserable with damp freezing fog covering most of the South Coast, They forecast better weather for the weekend, let’s hope so folks, Keep well
Back again for another bit of chatter, Well the hot topic is the inauguration of Donald Trump as the President of the US. I really don’t know what to think, one part of me says, well he’s a successful business man, so he can’t be that dumb, but another part thinks……that I think it’s a bit scary having someone who generates so much controversy is more or less in charge of the world’s safety.mmmm time will tell I suppose. But how pathetic for him to complain that the crowd for him wasn’t as big as for Obama. SIze seems to be an issue with him ..nuff said.
Next thing , The weather,[now what would we Brits talk about if there was no change] BT… it has been very cold with temps below freezing most nights and not much above daytime. though it has been sunny, and I must admit I have got my washing dry.so I should stop complaining, but my fingers get so called with any outside activity.
Talking about outside activity, I’m dying to get out and do some gardening! yes, it would do me the power of good, I did plant some Anemone bulbs/corms? that a friend had given me for Christmas, it must have taken me all of ten minutes to find the nearest half empty tub, poke a few holes and drop the bulbs? in. I’m sure they’ll be OK.
I’ve been busy making some late Christmas gifts for some friends, as I’ve mentioned I make cards – well we made a calendar at Craft group and I liked it so much I bought some little calendars for 6p each and made some more, I’m giving them out on Monday at my dance class, I’m sure they’ll like them here’s a couple or three, Ha ha show off.
I made ten, that kept me busy.
Well folks I’m tired so I think I’ll turn in, had the leccy blanket on for twenty minutes, so the bed will be cosy and welcoming, got to wake the dogs and get them out , biscuit and bed, catch you later. thanks for reading. x
Well as it’s miserable dreary winter i’ve been spending a bit more time trawling the ‘net and decided to maybe give blogging another go … again..
My dogs are getting on a bit now, both are coming up to fifteen, a good age for a collie, and for any dog.
Zac’s back legs give way a bit more often now, he takes everything at such a charge then wonders why he topples over. LOL , Ruby …well I’ve felt that lately she’s just not herself, can’t put a finger on it, but she sometimes just stands in front of me and looks like she’s trying to say something. I knelt down by her the other night and felt a lump on her left side, my heart turned over, but I’m trying to stay positive about it.
The weather has been pretty cold for a few days now with sub zero temperatures, , don’t know what’s worse, this or the damp drizzle of the previous week, I hate the cold though, my fingers hurt so much, and though I cuss a bit having to take the dogs out, it’s a blessing or I wouldn’t be getting enough exercise.
Had a bit of sad news the other day, and old dog friend has passed away, I didn’t know he was ill, but when his wife phoned and told me all about it, it was just one of these things that start off innocently enough and escalated. , she will be lost without him, I’ve known them for over forty years and it will be strange just to say her name, let’s call her Betty, without adding his, they were quite a devoted couple.
Well I’m calling a halt, as I’ll ramble on all night, but that’s me, all or nothing, hope to get a couple of comments and keeeeep blogging folks.
First may I wish anyone who is reading this A very Happy Healthy 2017.
The weather, since the shortest day has passed, quite wintry, but as the saying goes,the days get longer, the cold gets stronger, Certainly true in this country.
As I have mentioned before I used to work with my dogs in Competition Obedience, almost fifty years of regular training and travelling up and down the country judging and competing, and I loved it. I did my last judging just over four years ago just before I lost Tango, plus travelling was getting to be a chore. I also stopped work too, so have quite a bit of time on my hands, I did quite a bit of painting, dog commissions mostly but landscapes and anything else that took my fancy. I started doing small paintings of flowers and started making them into cards for birthdays etc, gradually I discovered a whole new world of card crafting, after a chance meeting with a lady in a craft shop. since then I find it takes most of my time , plus a bit of money 🙂
It is a very absorbing hobby and I can spend many hours tucked in my little room fiddling around with paper. ! My dogs are very good and are quite happy sleeping the time away , and as they are getting on a bit [ both almost 15] I don’t feel too guilty . |I shall post up some of my stuff from time to time. I have posted it but it’s gone to the top of the blog instead of the bottom. . Oh well i’ll sort it out one day, I don’t find WP as easy as Blogger .