Arlene and two adopted dogs.

Just a blog from someone who loves to communicate with other dog owners

Tango’s tale

Hi there, Tango speaking  [for a change], I get so fed up seeing Her Mightiness [all 5 ‘ 0” of her] sitting there night after night on the tappity tap machine, spouting out her words of wisdom , well that’s what she calls them, hmmm. , so I’ve decided to have my complaints be heard.

I am so angry with her, I’m over 13 now which in dog years means I am over 90 which makes me older than Her, can you believe it?! I digress, for almost all of that time I have carried a bottle  when I went for a walk, a plastic one of course,  there was always a supply ready and waiting. As soon as I got out of the car one was thrown for me and I proudly carried it for the whole walk, Many people commented on it and asked if I worked as a litter picker for the council, or, did I carry my own water, though on that one ‘she’ always said no it was her Gin and tonic, as she was a secret drinker, she laughed her socks off at her wit [?] and people laughed with her, just to be polite I expect.

Well. lately I’ve been getting a bit careless and when i put it down to investigate some interesting smell, I’ve forgotten where I put it, She gets so cross, as when she sent me back for it I don’t know where it is. and she has to go back with me. She even got me a bright yellow one so I could see it, but she just can’t seem to understand I can’t help it, I just can’t remember, and I won’t go back too far as she might go on and forget that she’s got me, well she’s not exactly a spring chicken either.

So, she started to just not send me back for it as she said she was fed up with that game, I got so mad, I danced in front of her, and between her feet, I even pulled at her pocket with my teeth, which is sacrilege, but no, she wouldn’t budge. then she stopped letting me have it altogether, OH MY SIRIUS, what am I going to do? Well I gave it a lot of thought for the past couple of days, then came up with a good one, I ate the mouldy bird seed and made myself sick, she had to get up three times in the night to tend me. LOL she was worried I’m glad to say, but the bird seed supply dried up, so I couldn’t be sick any more. But, still no bottle. I hate her sometimes, I’ll have to think of something else to pay her back. Any ideas?


  1. Hi handsome, its Mo aka Momo aka Little Mo aka Fathead here. Well I was so fed up being left for hours on end and not having many walkies lately that I protested yesterday and got mummys full attention when I dug up her big wooden pot of tete a tete daffs, crocus and snowdrops. I had to bury the hide bone she bought me thinking it would amuse me for a while….yes it did…I took great delight planting it for a more bountiful crop than stoopid flowers you cannot eat and hope to see a bone tree growing very soon!
    What I don’t understand though is why they all had beef hotpot last night and I only got the leftovers this morning, why not give me mine when they had theirs?!

    • Arlene

      Hi there Mo, I will NOT call you Fathead or any other unbecoming name that hoomans call their bestest friends, I thought that was a good wheeze digging up the stoopid flowers, what good are they as you say, you can’t eat them and anyroad she doesn’t let me in that part of her garden, If you manage to grow a bone tree I’ wouldn’t mind paying smal sum for one, and I expect Bess and Cinnamon would be in the queue., but certainly DO NOT share with hoomans.
      love and licks to you all,and thanks for your support.

  2. Tango! lol You are being very rude about Her Mightiness! It’s not HER fault either if YOU’VE forgotten where the bottle is! lol And I think her little joke about the gin and tonic was VERY funny 😉 And Tango…I really really don’t think Her Mightniness is likely to forget she’s got you! 🙂 Between you, me and the gatepost your hind leg is so attached to…if you get my meaning…lol…I think she’s besotted with you! You are her world! But don’t tell her I said that ok? 😉 I will concede it was a little tiny bit naughty of her not to let you have a bottle AT ALL but you did tug at her pocket you naughty dog! And you did say she wasn’t a spring chicken didn’t you? lol…not very flattering of you was it?!! Best thing to do now is to pray to Sirius for forgiveness! lol…I’m sure he will guide you in the path you should follow for dealing with Her Mightiness’s shortcomings! But don’t go making yourself sick anymore right? Not good for you! Stay away from the mouldy bird seed – revenge is NOT always so sweet is it?! And go give Her Mightiness a big tail wagging hug 🙂 She might even let you have the bottle back then!!

    • Arlene

      Hi ya big Lupus relative and friend, and much as I love her, [Her Mightiness] I will not grovel, and I meant every word of what I said about her being a spring chicken, even though I do love her, but a dog’s gotta have some pride, that bottle was my comfort and companion through many walks, now I expect some other mangy cur will lay claim to all the bottles round my way. HUH Next time I’ll tug at her trousers and they just might fall down LOL that would make her think 🙂

  3. hey tango, cinnamon heer. i liv with kirstin and her bo. im old. roy antaganizs me. but i lik it mostly. then i git iratatd at him. we go for few walks, cuz its too hot out, or too much pollen. we all sneez alot.
    dont be crabby with arlene. just be glad you get to go for walks every da.

    • Arlene

      Hiya Cinnamon, what a cool name, but just a word of warning, my Mum likes cinnamon and honey on her corn flakes ! now I’d hate to think of her chasing you round the garden trying to chop a bit off you just to flavour her weird taste.
      I’m trying hard to like her again, maybe I will if she gives me share of her chicken stew. I hopes the sneezy weather soon goes away and it gets a bit colder for you, Her highness thinks it’s too cold here, never happy these hoomans. nice to meet you, met any nice bitches lately?

  4. aww Poor Tango, I know just how you feel, my names Bess, and I’m typing this at Pens PC, she’s nowhere to be seen ~ leaving me alone for hours on end. I want to ring the RSPCA but I can’t use the telephone. Can You Help?
    I had to get myself upstairs this morning, such a haul, and ‘she’ usually carries me ~ but would I wait? No!!! ~ I barked but she wouldn’t answer, probably too busy putting her ‘face on’ to go out ~ Did you know humans had two faces? Hmmmf!!
    Sorry you’ve been sick, and I’ve tried that trick you know? Eating old seed, and I try to eat the bits of grass under the bird table too, in the garden… Gets her so mad, but boy oh boy, I do get her full attention. Sometimes her eyes are full of water and I bet your human’s the same, I think it’s because they’re very attached to us and only want what’s best ~ so maybe instead of trying to find a way of getting back ~ maybe a lick or two would do? Just a K9 thought!! Take care buddy, and don’t you think I type better’n her? 😉 Bessx

    • Arlene

      Bess sweetie pie, hello, now I can’t use the telephone but I’m gettin’ to be a whiz on this here tappity tap thing so I’ll get a message to every dog humane society stating your case, I think that’s just so cruel letting an elderly lady go upstairs on her own, these hoomans have no respect for us furbabes.
      You hooman has two faces !!! scary unless my hooman’s other one was 40 years younger I’d freak.
      Don’t think I’ll be trying the bird seed wheez again, I did feel bad, and between you and me I did feel a bit sorry for her next day, she looked worried, so I think it did the trick, I’ve been a good boy since, just to show her I do love her, she’s the bestest. but don’t dare tell her. The biggest hugs to you, Ruby says, can I get a word in? She says I think you are the beautifulest collie I’ve ever seen Bess and I love having you as a big sister, MMMMWWWWAAA

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