Arlene and two adopted dogs.

Just a blog from someone who loves to communicate with other dog owners

To thank you

Hi folks, just an addition to my last blog, and no, I’m not going to milk it, but I felt that I should say a big thank you to all who very kindly posted comments in an nonjudgmental and understanding manner.

I first started to write about it when I first started blogging in WP three or four years ago,, and called it IMSPESHL [I’m special] but I chickened out, I don’t think I was ready,

I got put off by my second husband who had sexual problems and blamed me, saying it was what had happened in the past . I eventually dismissed that as I’d had a perfectly normal relationship resulting in two children with my first husband.

However with the change in to-day’s views about unmarried mothers and children born ‘out of wedlock’ I thought I would have another go, it wasn’t a matter of being courageous, but I have finally accepted that it wasn’t my fault, and I must stop feeling embarrassed or guilty.

My adopted mother God rest her, was of the old school being almost 40 when she took me on, had a very different view, and was fond of telling me how lucky I was to be taken in by her and I should be grateful etc, that my mother was a whore and went with sailors, I couldn’t understand this talk, but as I got older I thought, she was only sixteen for God’s sake,  she came from a good and strict background, but she was very attractive, so I expect there was a little bit of jealousy there too. tut.

I was going through adolescent so I expect I was being awkward and she’d be going through ‘the change’ not a good combination.

I am so glad that attitudes have changed, as I’d not be happy with other children going through what I did, it leaves it’s mark, it made me very defensive, and a bit short tempered, as you think that folk are trying to put you down. I have now learned to accept myself for what I am, a normal person with good and bad points.

And as was pointed out, makes you a bit more understanding of anyone else in the same position, I certainly hope, so if nothing else.

I shall put it to bed now and thank you each and every one  again for listening, you’ve all been marvellous, I owe you.



  1. You are an amazing lady Arlene! Full of strength character and spirit and heart…and VERY special! 🙂

    • Well that’s kind of you Wolfie, but when I think of what both my mother’s went through on my behalf, I think setting the record straight is the least I could do. They were the stars of the whole sorry saga.

  2. I’m touched by your responses girls, thank you so very much.XXX

  3. (((hug)))

  4. As Anne says, no need for any talk of owing. The times have changed as you so rightly say, and things may have been better if you’d have been born later, but saying this you wouldn’t be you, the you who shines through in your blogs…We live through our childhoods and we learn to adjust…and we become all the better for it …or so I think personally…So Hugs Woofs and licks from me..and Bess, to you all…xx

  5. Arlene, you owe us nothing. You are to be commended for being so open and frank about the many issues you have faced and conquered. It is only because of folk like yourself that others may find the strength to see that they need not suffer alone and help is out there if only they could speak up.
    I have been fortunate in having a lovely childhood and would not change a thing about it and believe me, I do count my blessings for it being as it was.

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