To thank you
Hi folks, just an addition to my last blog, and no, I’m not going to milk it, but I felt that I should say a big thank you to all who very kindly posted comments in an nonjudgmental and understanding manner.
I first started to write about it when I first started blogging in WP three or four years ago,, and called it IMSPESHL [I’m special] but I chickened out, I don’t think I was ready,
I got put off by my second husband who had sexual problems and blamed me, saying it was what had happened in the past . I eventually dismissed that as I’d had a perfectly normal relationship resulting in two children with my first husband.
However with the change in to-day’s views about unmarried mothers and children born ‘out of wedlock’ I thought I would have another go, it wasn’t a matter of being courageous, but I have finally accepted that it wasn’t my fault, and I must stop feeling embarrassed or guilty.
My adopted mother God rest her, was of the old school being almost 40 when she took me on, had a very different view, and was fond of telling me how lucky I was to be taken in by her and I should be grateful etc, that my mother was a whore and went with sailors, I couldn’t understand this talk, but as I got older I thought, she was only sixteen for God’s sake, she came from a good and strict background, but she was very attractive, so I expect there was a little bit of jealousy there too. tut.
I was going through adolescent so I expect I was being awkward and she’d be going through ‘the change’ not a good combination.
I am so glad that attitudes have changed, as I’d not be happy with other children going through what I did, it leaves it’s mark, it made me very defensive, and a bit short tempered, as you think that folk are trying to put you down. I have now learned to accept myself for what I am, a normal person with good and bad points.
And as was pointed out, makes you a bit more understanding of anyone else in the same position, I certainly hope, so if nothing else.
I shall put it to bed now and thank you each and every one again for listening, you’ve all been marvellous, I owe you.
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