Arlene and two adopted dogs.

Just a blog from someone who loves to communicate with other dog owners

The young girls tale


Jenny suggested we post 7 things about ourselves, well I don’t know about 7, I like the colour orange, warm weather , sausage and mash, dogs, nature, and I wonder if below’s tale counts.

The young girl’s tale

The date was August 1937, The venue was a Maternity Home for unmarried mothers, the cast was The young girl, the older Lady and the baby.

I will look after your baby till you are in a position to come for her and look after her yourself, the older lady said to the young girl…….She handed over the baby which she had given birth to a month after her 17th birthday.

The older lady took the baby home to stay with her and her family of four boys and a girl

The years passed and with the exception of an occasional visit, the baby hardly saw her mother – the young girl, but accepted life as it was, only knowing her as’ Aunt Edith who was very glamorous and came in a taxi, with gifts such as handkerchiefs, sweets and books. The girl used to wish she was her Mother!

The young lady married and eventually decided she was in a position to have her daughter back, who by this time was ten years old.

The young girl was very excited as they had a car, telephone, fridge and a big house, as the man her mother married was an Italian restaurateur and quite rich.

But………………he was not a nice man, and wanted to do things with the little girl that she was not happy about, she didn’t think it right she should take off her knickers because he said her ballet dress was too tight, and she didn’t like when sitting on his knee he touched her, and said it was their special secret.

When her mother went out she used to go and stand by the window where she felt safe as she could see on to the street and the people passing by. Her main comfort was the two dogs and the cat. But the man could be cruel to them and it made her cry.

One day when she went back to the older lady to visit, she told one of the family about the ‘secret’ and it proved to be the best thing she did, though at the time she didn’t think so., as she wasn’t allowed to go back to her mother that night or for some time.

Later on she was taken to a big building where men in long cloaks and wigs asked her a lot of questions, and asked did she want to stay with the older lady or go to her mother, I can’t understand why they asked her that, as they wouldn’t allow her to go back. She was so confused; after all she was only ten.

After a long battle she was officially adopted three years later.

Six more years passed and the little girl, was now a young lady .did all the usual things, she went skating, dancing, café’s and enjoyed the boys company, but in those days you didn’t date so young, besides she was kept on a tight rein, just in case she went down the road her mother did, as the older lady was keen to remind her about.

One day she decided to pay her mother a visit who by this time had a young family with the ‘man’ , She was very polite and entertained her in the lounge, and when she left said, very clearly, ‘please don’t come back’

The young girl smiled to hide her heartbreak and said she understood, but the pain bit deep and was never forgotten.

Many more years passed and the young girl was now a mother herself and nearing middle age too, though often gave a thought to her mother.

The old lady died, and let the young girl free to pursue a strong urge to find her natural mother, and with the help of a family friend did so.

One day she received a phone call………….a vaguely familiar voice said ‘is that you A…………….? She knew immediately who it was.

After a long conversation in which she learned that her mother was now a widow, her husband had committed suicide, and also tried to kill her, she had fled from him with the children,  two boys and a girl, but sadly one boy was killed in a road accident, he was very like you she said, the other two having the Italian looks of their father.

Arrangements were made for us to meet and all would come into the open, and the lost years caught up with. The excitement was unbearable.

About a month later a letter was received from a hospital in rather scrawled writing….., I am in hospital with back pain, and they are trying to find out the cause, ……

The next she heard that her mother had broken a leg,  the girl contacted the hospital to find out what was the problem, after having to prove she was the daughter. It was lung cancer said Matron, and it had spread to her bones, causing the break.

She travelled the 500 miles to the hospital and they met for the first time in 24 years.

She came home again and promised to come back as soon as she sorted out the family,

Then came another phone call…………………….her mother had died less than a week after she left., she was only 58 the young girl was 41. She took at least a little comfort in knowing they did at least meet again, though the mystery of who her father was will now never be solved, was he a spotty youth on a date or a dirty old man who took advantage?

Oh,  By the way she did meet her half-brother at the hospital, but he didn’t want to know, things like that happen he said’…….  but then there was a lot of money there and I expect he worried in case she was looking for a share, but being legally adopted, it wasn’t possible.

There is still a half-sister out there, maybe she knows about me, maybe she doesn’t, anyhow at 73 am I bothered? Nah.

Me with my mum Edith at 8 months.
My Mum Edith and her husband the man Louis
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15 Comments

  1. I know and have heard of way too many stories very similar to this. Makes me cry and breaks my heart. Reading this brought back a lot of memories of our foster children. Only one of our adopted children saw their birth mother after they were adopted and that did not go well. None of them have seen their birth father. Thank you for sharing this. I am looking forward to getting to know you better. Thank you so much for reading my blogs and leaving comments. Hugs sweet Arlene

    • Thank you for reading it, and understanding, at almost 74 you’d think the pain would go away, it hasn’t, not quite.

  2. Arlene

    Oh I am so pleased for you and your pack for the non event of the eviction, such a relief, for you all, I hope it’s resolved and it’s not going to rear it’s ugly head again.
    Theere’s only so much stress a pedigree Wolfie can take, now go out and have a nice meal or at least a little dwinkie to celebrate.

    • Hello 🙂 I am back! Unlike the go-slow last night I even have a fast connection tonight so must make the most of it lol. Yes it was a huge relief and pedigree lol Wolfie has indeed enjoyed both a nice meal and a lovely little dwinkie!! Haven’t had much chance to de-stress one way or the other but I am fairly confident the same problem will not recurr tho what the future holds for the house as a rental property remains to be seen. The new landlord who has taken over has given me repeated reassurances that we have nothing to worry about so for the moment I am only too happy to work on relaxing, and allowing myself some much needed respite from the heading for nervous breakdown situation I have been living in the last few weeks! So back out with that lovely shiney new telescope and off into the heart of the Arlene blog pages I go! 🙂

  3. I am genuinely sorry I haven’t got back to your blogs sooner, especially now I have read this one….unfortunately I haven’t been visiting anyone elses recently either so it’s not personal. I’ve left a note in your g/bk as well as on my WLS page for you…and I will be back over the next few days to catch up with your blogs 🙂 I probably won’t get anywhere else this week but hopefully people will understand and not delete me before then! lol 😉 Hopefully the passing of 14/2 will put me out of my misery 😉 and I will still have a roof over my head but until then I draw strength from your inspirational courage my lovely friend Arlene. Wuffly Wolfie hugs for you x 🙂

    • No need to apologise Wolfie, life has a habit of getting in the way at times, i’m in the same position half the time, as right now I’m banished from home as you may have read, while I am having some new kitchen units finished, i come home tea time and am just so tired and have got loads of dog emails to get through, I also haven’t had time to contact anyone else’s blogs. We’ll catch up eventually.

      • Hi Arlene 🙂 Just a very quick note as Wolfie is shattered and exhausted from weeks of unrelenting stress and anxiety and needs some beauty sleep! I’m wolfishly pleased and relieved to say the hour of truth today re the possible 2pm eviction date today, did not happen and passed without incident. So peace has finally descended on the den of the Wolfie home pack! So! I will be back to normal blog visiting from tomorrow…tho catching up may take some time so bear with me!

  4. Oh Arlene…I read this with such a lump in my throat…I’ve always known you were a lovely and special lady since we first met here in cyberspace and you are so brave and courageous to share this moving “young girl’s tale” with us. I feel very privileged that you have felt able to. Such an awful experience for you and yet despite that you have been strong enough of heart and character and spirit to mature through the years into the wonderful friend and lady you are today. I have always admired your strength of character and spirit and now even more so. I am so glad I met you. Once again you inspire me. I wish you were here in “real time” so I could give you a real time great big Wolfie hug and tell you face to face what a lovely person you are, and what a great and truly appreciated friend you are. Furry Wolfie cyber hugs! x

    • Hi Wolfie, I had posted how sorry I was to hear about your housing problems, now don’t you worry about reading and commenting on my blogs, I do understand. I haven’t got these sort of problems and I have a job keeping up, like to-night, I’m just too tired, an early night on the cards/
      Thank you so much for your kind and helpful words of support, I feel better for getting it out into the open, not because I was looking for sympathy, heaven forbid, I wanted to do it for me, and it’s easier with friends who you know you are probably never going to meet, and don’t judge you, as I think that we can be ourselves on here giving people the chance to ‘see’ the real you.
      I’m off to bed in a mo, and hope to catch up to-morrow evening. Thanks again my lovely furry friend, fur is so nice and cuddlesome ,much nicer than skin eh?

  5. I read this last night and was very moved, so much so that I could not comment then. This morning I read it again. Courageous and touching, it could not have been easy to write and I bet it has bought a lot more memories back for you both good and bad.
    The good in you shines through and so commendable the way you have coped in laying these ghosts to rest.

    • Thank you Anne, I read you said you had a good childhood, I think most children do, and why not, it should be every child’s right.
      I hope little Isobel is coming along nicely, we haven’t heard for a while, do give us an update.

  6. I read that almost knowing what was to come. Arlene, (((hugs))) to the ,little girl who’s innocence was taken advantage of, and hugs to the woman who has loved a full, wonderful life despite that horrible start…
    I suppose some questions will never be answered in this life, and we just have to accept that…Thank you for sharing the tale of Arlene… You said you could tell ‘who’ I was…Well, your inner strength and loveliness shine through…My friend….and to answer your question…yes, I do think that counts as ‘7 things’…In a very BIG way!! … xx
    Hugs and woofs and licks, from her Maj and me… to you, Tango and Ruby…xx

    • Thank you for your kind understanding Pen, I took the courage from you when you mentioned your father, it lit a spark in me. Sometimes it’s good to lay the ghosts of the past, though I will never forget the whole sorry business, so very much happened during these times, not a lot pleasant, but I will just mention I was fortunate that I did tell about the ‘secret’ or it could have been an awful lot worse.
      I bet many people have tales to tell some of very great interest, be it tragedy or good fortune.
      Wouldn’t you like to be a Bess, Tango or Ruby? so uncomplicated. Hugs and woofs XX

  7. Thanks Kirsten, I think now it’s time the room had some fresh air blown through it, as I feel I can cope. I doubt if I’ll ever find Linda, as I don’t know her married name or any other details, and , frankly I can’t be bothered after all this time.

  8. wow arlene … that was deeply touching! i feel like ive been allowed to see into an room long closed off from the world.
    i hope you find your half sister, and it is a happy reunion.
    thank you for sharing this 🙂
    k☼

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